tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246906619359480278.post8963350324992891117..comments2023-10-12T10:25:09.081-04:00Comments on The Veillee: A Portrait of the HeroineEm + Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12651833449881968705noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246906619359480278.post-53705815322510020172012-03-03T14:21:22.392-05:002012-03-03T14:21:22.392-05:00Thanks, Jess! I appreciate that. I think you ladie...Thanks, Jess! I appreciate that. I think you ladies have inspired me to carry on with Mary's story. XOEmeraldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03005406259934417112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246906619359480278.post-45338691467871576322012-03-02T18:20:47.137-05:002012-03-02T18:20:47.137-05:00I think it's perfect, although it is worthy of...I think it's perfect, although it is worthy of expansion as Catherine and M. Garcia suggested. I like when a story leaves a lot to the imagination, as long as it still leaves me satisfied after reading it. There's a lot of different things going on here that you could tell us more about perhaps in another "chapter". Great work!Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10784734079146964518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246906619359480278.post-12347428909261544112012-03-02T10:51:05.282-05:002012-03-02T10:51:05.282-05:00Thanks for the comments, ladies and dude! I sort o...Thanks for the comments, ladies and dude! I sort of wanted to keep the story short and contained, leaving a lot to the imagination. But maybe that's just a lame excuse to be lazy? I do like that it ends with her getting on the boat. Who knows where she will end up, or if it will be any better. (As we all know, life for emigrants can be rough.)But maybe it would be better as a longer, more detailed narrative. James, I'm curious to know what you think.<br /><br />I have to be honest, though. Seeing it posted, reading it in this setting, it feels too serious and self-righteous. Maybe it would be nice to extend it and add some lightness and humor. I wrote it when I was taking "History of Poverty" so my mind was dwelling on very heavy things...Emeraldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03005406259934417112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246906619359480278.post-4469940482330772732012-03-02T10:38:30.011-05:002012-03-02T10:38:30.011-05:00P.S. Please keep the notes coming. I didn't gi...P.S. Please keep the notes coming. I didn't give my editor a fair shot.Emeraldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03005406259934417112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246906619359480278.post-6072693436277804882012-03-02T10:24:03.830-05:002012-03-02T10:24:03.830-05:00Thanks. That'll teach me to add new things at ...Thanks. That'll teach me to add new things at midnight and post without proofreading...Emeraldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03005406259934417112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246906619359480278.post-22910620606359305282012-03-02T10:16:29.814-05:002012-03-02T10:16:29.814-05:00"unwashed hoards of to the north" should..."unwashed hoards of to the north" should be hordesShouldntbreedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08215668031959900157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246906619359480278.post-75059773566704636802012-03-01T16:21:26.920-05:002012-03-01T16:21:26.920-05:00Surely this can't be the end, am I right? Does...Surely this can't be the end, am I right? Does this go on? I think you can take more time with the beginning. I really want to feel what it's like working in the mills. Maybe just a moment or two of reflection as she's on the boat looking out in to the water which is her future. <br />- MiaM. Garciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04338063902596386356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2246906619359480278.post-34373938759587252132012-03-01T16:05:42.052-05:002012-03-01T16:05:42.052-05:00Very nice. The part about the devils all around h...Very nice. The part about the devils all around her gave me the shivers. This story left me wanting to know more about Mary's adventures. You could expand into a lovely novel, with more details about life in the work house at the beginning. Then I'd like to know where Mary is going on that ship, and what happens to her when she gets there. Keep it up!!Catherine Rowehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07741958499826131059noreply@blogger.com